The answer is yes…..and no.

Whilst there is definitely a way to feel better and to help yourself get off the treadmill of anger and torment, there is no magic bullet for BPD.

I wish there was.

It takes a lot of hard work and commitment to stay on the pathway to recovery. Most people fall off after a certain time or choose to go in a different direction. Thats OK. We are not perfect and recovery is not a linear journey. We can always come back to the process when we are feeling stronger.

The experiences in infancy and early childhood which caused the disorder in the first place can’t be undone.

We all know that.

Many of the early responses our brains and bodies made to this trauma are set hard in who we are. They become the bedrock of our identity, even though we aren’t necessarily aware or conscious of the effect they have on us.

Its a hard thing to come to terms with.

BUT, we can all make changes, improve our self-awareness, make friends with our trauma and get to understand ourselves and what we went through.

We need to develop compassion for the helpless infant that we once were, what that child went through and how we adapted in order to survive.

We need to understand that its not our fault.

The choices we make from this point onwards are the ones that will take us further along the pathway to recovery, or keep us stuck in the mire.

It takes a lot of courage to reach out.

To say that we need help and that we are willing to undergo the challenges of transforming ourselves and our lives.

No-one can do it for us.

We need to make the decision for ourselves.

It can be painful enough to come to the realisation that we were abused or abandoned, unloved and unrecognised, that, as children we weren’t welcomed, nurtured or understood in our unique and singular beauty.

But we also need to accept that we are the ones who are going to have to change.

We can’t change our parents.

We can’t change the past.

We can’t regain what we lost or never had.

But we can transform our lives.