Sticks and Stones
Bullying
The reach of social media and the internet is making bullying easier, more anonymous and harder to escape.
The latest research shows that one in three children is directly involved in bullying as a perpetrator, victim, or both.
Many of those who are not directly involved witness others being bullied on a regular basis.
No child is immune— kids of every race, gender, grade and socio-economic sector are impacted.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
As parents we have the power to help reduce bullying.
Bullying is not something that just goes away on its own, it is not something that children can just “work out” without mediation, and it is not something kids will just naturally outgrow. If you know (or think) that your child is being bullied, your participation is critical to a successful outcome.
IS YOUR CHILD BEING BULLIED?
Ten Steps you Need to Take to Help Your Child
Make it safe for your child to come and talk to you
When your child comes to you to talk about a bullying experience, try to avoid having an emotional reaction. It can be scary for a child to hear that a parent is planning to lash out at a peer or parent. Calmly ask questions until you feel you completely understand the situation (Is it bullying, a peer conflict or a misunderstanding?) Try not to leap into action straight away, but instead focus on making sure your child feels taken care of and supported. Without blaming the bully, remind your child that everyone has a right to feel safe and happy at school, and applaud the courage it took to take a stand and talk to you. Make a commitment to work with both your child and the school administration to resolve the issue.
Teach your child to say “Stop” or find an adult
Research shows that most bullies stop aggressive behaviour within 10 seconds when someone (either a victim or a bystander) tells the perpetrator to stop in a strong and powerful voice. You, as the parent, can role-play an assertive response. Demonstrate the differences between aggressive and assertive and passive voices, as well as body language, tone of voice, and words used. If staying “stop” with an assertive voice does not work, teach your child to find an adult right away.
Talk with your child’s school principal and classroom teacher about the situation
Make it clear that you are committed to partner with the school in being part of the solution. Also emphasise that your expected outcome is that your child’s ability to feel safe and happy at school is fully restored. Ask the principal to share the school’s bullying policy, and make sure any action plan begins with notifying other teachers, teacher’s aids and other staff so that everyone who comes in contact with your child can be on the lookout and poised to intervene should the bullying be repeated.
Arrange opportunities for your child to socialise with friends outside of school to help build and maintain a strong support system.
Try reaching out to neighbourhood parents, local community centres with after-school activities, and your community. The more time your child can practice social skills in a safe environment, the better. Children who have friends are less likely to be bullying victims and, if your child is bullied, friends can help ease the negative effects.
5. Don’t Go it Alone
When supporting a child through a bullying situation, parents often discover previously unnoticed issues that may contribute to the child’s vulnerability. In addition to working with the school to help resolve the immediate issue, parents should also consider reaching out to physical and mental healthcare providers to discuss concerns about diagnosed or undiagnosed learning issues, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.
6. Encourage your child to stick with a friend (or find someone who can act as a buddy) at recess and lunch or walking home.
Kids are more likely to be targeted when they are alone. If your child doesn’t have a friend to connect with, work with the school to help find someone to act as a safety partner.
7. If cyberbullying is an issue, teach your child to bring it to the attention of an adult, rather than responding to the message.
Many children fail to realise that saying mean things about someone on the Internet or through text messaging is a form of bullying. Make sure your child knows that you take cyberbullying seriously, and that you’ll be supportive through the process of handling the situation.
8. Help your child become more resilient to bullying.
There’s a lot parents can do to help “bully proof” their kids. Here are two biggies
First provide a safe and loving home environment where compassionate and respectful behaviour is modelled consistently.
Second, acknowledge and help your child to develop strengths skills, talents and other positive characteristics. Doing so may help your kid be more confident among their peers.
9. Provide daily and ongoing support to your child
When your child expresses negative emotions about peers, its helpful if you acknowledge these feelings and emphasise that its normal to feel this way. After actively listening to the recounted bullying incident, discuss the practical strategies in this article together, especially the ones your child thinks will be most helpful.
10. Follow Up.
Even after your child’s bullying situation has been be sure to stay available for your child and in touch with your child’s school to avoid a relapse of the issues. Keep the lines of communication open for your child and learn the signs of bullying to make sure that if another issue arises you will be well prepared to get involved early and effectively. Although a last resort, consider moving your child out of their current school or social environment. This may be a necessary action and it send the message to your child that they do not have to tolerate such treatment. Once established, social reputations amongst peers can be very difficult to eliminate. A fresh start in a new school environment may be a viable solution.
Source: http://www.education.com/topic/school-bullying-teasing/
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